By John Simeone

My revenge against the media hype of commercialization is to give the secret of the Manhattan Project of turkey calls to the people for free.

There are amazing turkey calls made by ingenious individuals who have been generations in the business of outsmarting turkeys, I salute them. Sometimes I have to ask myself about the simplicity of what genius actually is. Is genius highly complicated rocket science or is it as simple as the person that thought of a pet rock collection and made a million dollars. Personally I think it deals with observation and the relationship of knowing what to do about what you see. “Necessity is the mother of invention,” never rang so true.

There are only two things that will attract a turkey, one is food and the other is another turkey. The not so ethical turkey hunters of my state, not all, but so many as to cause an epidemic, have mastered the art of baiting, no pun intended. When I first explored the idea of my new call this weighed heavily on my mind as turkey baiting is not cricket in the ethics of turkey hunting. But what if you could make a call that sounded like turkey food. Didn't I just mention cricket, and not the British form of baseball?

OK, so how did I come up with this brilliant idea? I came out of the woods a few years ago after a gobbler beat me fair and square as they usually do, subsequently meeting up with a very disgruntled turkey hunter. Evidently getting beat by a turkey to some people excites the revenge factor in some humans about like Captain Ahab vs Moby Dick. He swore out loud to me and the whispering pine trees of Louisiana, that he had a gobbler dead to rights, when a swarm of what he described more vividly as “fricken crickets,” started sounding off and the turkeys all went to them. Have you ever noticed how some people take things more seriously than others?

Well the minute I heard this it struck me like a bolt of lightning. Make a turkey call that sounds like a fricken cricket. The name of the call certainly was easy enough, but how would I make it legal, market and sell it. Also it came to mind why no one had ever thought of it before. Maybe they had and it didn't work. “No, it will work,” I thought as I know turkeys hunt by sight and sound, not smell. So in essence I had a call that sounded like turkey food, no one had ever thought to do that. If they had, obviously it would be on the market.

I knew before hand I couldn't make a recording of crickets as this would be an electric call and would be illegal. It had to be a percussion or wind instrument just like any other turkey call. That was not difficult as I found a ready made cricket sounding device that was in fact a musical instrument for a symphony orchestra to emulate the natural sound of a cricket.

It was there for the re-marketing if I wanted it. Of course no one believed me except one man, a state game warden, who also made custom turkey calls. He seemed worried that it would work so well as it would wipe out the turkey population. Knowing well the wild turkey, I seriously doubt it.

So I decided to hint around on websites to see if anyone else had the secret. I told them I had a call that sounded like turkey food instead of another turkey. The only response I got was from the mass of master turkey baiters that thought the only thing that would attract a turkey was a pile of corn. I got summarily accused of making a call that sounded like a deer feeder turning off and on. But no one knew of, hinted to, or had any idea of what it really was.

I actually had one fellow that intended to invest and partner up with me, but during the negotiations he made some serious racial slurs as well as comments against another religion on an open forum that was enough to put anyone out of business, so I parted company with him. I looked into commercial marketing with game call companies and once again got sloughed off. One company genius tried to tell me everyone knew about it, so I asked why it had never hit the market. Never got an answer on that, what I figure it was the standard slough off for all the crackpots with a new turkey call, including me. One owner of an outdoor company didn't even know what a turkey call was and had never been hunting, go figure.

By the end of the day I was fed up with humanity again. I'm a hunter and an outdoor writer, not an entrepreneur. So I decided to get even with all the commercial hype in the outdoor world and let everyone know about the Fricken Cricket turkey call and how to use and get one.

First, to get one, all you have to do is find a large music company and ask for a cricket sound effect instrument by L. P. It looks and works like a baby rattle, it is that simple.

You use the call when you have a hung up gobbler or he is with hens. You use your cricket in concert with your regular turkey call. If the whole flock is hungry they should all come. But that's not the whole set up. If fake rubber turkeys can be used as decoys, fake rubber crickets and grasshoppers can be used too, if you haven't figured this one out yet, try the words fishing lures. There are plenty on the market designed as crickets and grasshoppers. Put a little stick on glue and remove the hooks and you add them to your all ready set out turkey decoys.

If you live in the country and know someone that has chickens, go through a live grasshopper in the pen and watch them go for it. Then throw in a rubber cricket and you will find they will go for that too. You can get them in any large bait shop.

Once it appears that other turkeys have found crickets and the target turkey and friends see this along with the decoy crickets, it should cause a feeding frenzy like a school of sharks.

Is it legal? These are the things you can't do turkey hunting. You can't use grain to bait them, a live decoy or an electric calling device (in most states). You can use artificial decoys in most states. Check your regulation for specifics. My state doesn't say anything about making cricket sounds in the woods and considering it can be done with the human voice it would require a game warden behind every tree to enforce it.

Is it ethical? It depends on who you are talking to. Some hunters think, using scopes on a shotgun is wrong, using a 3 ½ inch shell is wrong, setting up an ambush is wrong, sitting on a chufa patch is wrong...and so on. What is really wrong is sitting on a pile of corn or using an electric caller. Why? Because it's illegal, otherwise it becomes opinion.

Will it work? Yes it will, just like any other turkey call. It is just different, no more than making a new fishing lure. If a turkey wants to come to it they will, anyone knows that. There is no such thing as a perfect turkey call, that's what makes it interesting.

Why don't I try to market it? I prefer watching all the outdoor companies out there silting each others throats trying to outdo each other, now that's as much fun as shooting a turkey to me. If it does become popular I only want to be known as the person that thought up the idea and like I always do, I ….Pass it on.